My First Real Post in Months: “Something” Has Happened

My birthday was in August and it was incredible. Full of love from friends and family and the amazing gift that I was alive to enjoy it. I thanked my Lyme doctor for helping save my life, because without his aid I know I wouldn’t have made it. The whole celebration affair took two days to get through because I didn’t want to exhaust myself–I tried!–but let’s just say, next year I shall ask for more assistance, especially in opening gifts because I did the closest thing possible to arm-murder for someone with M.E. The eustress still affected me profoundly, and the muscle relapse I experienced took me weeks to recover from. By mid-September I did finally get to a place where I was okay enough to start typing, replying to e-mails, et cetera, albeit at a much-reduced level. I think that’s when I made my last “real” entry… Anyway.

Since my last actual update I have been “officially” diagnosed with vasculitis, upped my Biaxin dose, then had to stop everything completely.

 

After a necessary car ride (read as: hurricane evacuation) put me in the sunlight for eight hours, my sporadically-present vasculitis-of-the-past-ten-years went into overdrive and has been bothering me daily, often severely, ever since. I have to avoid all sunlight and any temperature change…which I always have to do, but right now it’s even more important. I did get tests to see if anything autoimmune had been triggered, but the tests, ANA and the relatives, were all normal, so that’s good. I got the diagnosis of inflammatory vasculitis on the 6th of September, which ironically was two days after upping my Biaxin to twice daily instead of once daily, but the Biaxin was unrelated, since the problems began days earlier with all that sun exposure. My PCP told me all the weird quirks I’d been having–the INTENSE dizzy spells, the blurred vision, that the main vascular problems were in my hands and feet–were all related. She said it starts in the small blood vessels–ears, eyes, extremities–and spreads from there, and to manage it with ibuprofen, which for now, mostly works.

We want to avoid going on steroids if we can, because of how they suppress the immune system… But I’ve been off and on Nasonex (an inhaled corticosteroid for sinus inflammation; I don’t have allergies) and it’s such a catch-22. I always feel better when I’m on it, but it also messes with my immune system so that other problems act up. Sigh.

 

For the most part I had been feeling GREAT with the twice daily Biaxin, but when I’m down, I’m really down. I have no idea what to say about my general health status, otherwise. :\ I always get a bad flare at the beginning of the month because this is one of the bug cycles (I think the Mycoplasma, but maybe the Lyme–I have no idea, I just know it’s not related to my menses because that has no reliable pattern due whatsoever, and hasn’t for years). Well, this month’s flare was absolutely terrible because of being on the doubled antibiotic dosage–“herxapalooza,” as one of my friends calls it.

When I was on Zithro (biaxin’s cousin), there would be one day a month I’d have to stop my antibiotics and let the herx die down, lest I end up it the emergency room. I came very close to going this month, not because of the herx itself, but because of a Migraine that was almost completely resistant to treatment. All I had at my house was off-brand medicine and name-brand Treximet, the latter of which  I cannot take with my type of migraine (which I DID NOT KNOW–need to discuss this with my new neuro!). So it was bad. Bad bad. The aura began with an awful prodrome of Alice in Wonderland Syndrome on Friday (Sept 28th) and the Migraine began two days later on Sunday (Sept 30th). Another two days later it was gone, but I have been sicker than sick ever since.

I have stopped ALL of my antibiotics in an attempt to recover, and I’m planning to resume them Monday if I’m able. If not, I’ll give it another week like I sometimes have to do. It’s been four straight months since having to take any kind of break, so that’s good. I hope it’s just the herxing (my liver is fine, by the way!), because this is a little frightening.

I haven’t needed my wheelchair in months, so I put it in the closet. Then yesterday I went to stand up and almost went to the floor. I’ve had NO trouble walking in months. Now my legs are very weak. It just hits me in “episodes”–one part of the day I’ll be sort-of okay; the rest, I am useless. This would make sense if I were currently on antibiotics, but I am not!

I have been sleeping a ton, and in bed all day regardless, only getting up for the essentials like restroom. And the pain… Oh, the pain. A day or two ago–they all blend together at the moment–I couldn’t so much as roll over in bed without a dose of Vicodin. The “headache phase” (because that Migraine went on to irritate every surrounding nerve) has died down for the most part, but now I’m facing exhaustion, flu-like sickness, numbness in my right leg and foot, a bizarre action-related tremor in my left hand/arm that has actually been progressing instead of going away… I am hydrated but my blood pressure is poor, I am resting but my heart is weak… My heart has felt weaker the past several weeks, at random. I don’t know what that’s about (side effect of doubled Biaxin?) but my next cardio appointment is in November.

It’s just such a drastic change, and I was doing perfectly fine (relatively speaking) on the doubled dose of antibiotics until this hit… And despite being off of them, it doesn’t appear to be getting better yet, which is concerning when I’ve literally spent the past week in bed and usually this combination lends to me feeling better… Or at least, when it’s M.E.-related, this lends to me feeling better. I suppose, with that in mind, I should stop thinking of it in those terms, because even though the majority of my troubles the past month-and-a-half have been M.E.-related and those ARE improved with rest, these problems I now face probably are not M.E.-related, and therefore there’s no sense in thinking rest will help them.

Maybe I’m rushing things, or being impatient. I just wonder what happened that I’m taking so long to recover, and I hope this will all pass over without me being forced into a lower state of functioning in the mean time.

So as to my absence…! I have been doing mostly okay, seemingly doing much better–even starting to prepare my own meals!–until “this” happened.

a rainbow at night

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On Livers and Lyme and Dystonia…and Another Antibiotic Break

On Thursday, the 5th of April, I upped the minocycline to 200mg a day. For the next few days I only noticed a greater need for sleep. Since starting the minocycline in general, I had a greater need for lortab/vicodin (at least once a day) to deal with the head and neck pain (read as: severe), so that also got worse temporarily before tapering off into less-severe pain.

Mostly because of this, my sinuses were really bothering me (hydrocodone causes a release of histamine, and when you stop it, then you can get a rebound release of it), so I had to take Nasonex for several days–it helped so much, and by days Three and Four of being on it, I was outside taking pictures of flowers!! I figure it might have been helping subdue some of the herxing because of its immunosuppressive tendencies. After day Four I was able to stop that, too, since my sinuses had returned to normal.

Then on the 9th I got a fax from my doctor saying my liver enzymes were very elevated. This, after them being perfectly normal two weeks earlier, and me still taking milk thistle three times a day!! I was upset, but I had to stop all antibiotics again.

I don’t know if it was from not taking my antibiotics beginning that morning when I got the fax, or rebound inflammation from stopping the Nasonex, but I felt absolutely horrid starting that day, and did every day after/have every day since. We’re talking complete flu-feeling and just.. awful. It was the metaphorical equivalent of hitting a bear over the head once, and then standing there staring at it. Lyme is a very, very angry bear. To further my physical suffering, a few days later my Lyme flare up began! D:

And then an old Lyme-related friend came to visit me: Dystonia.

(I tried to kick it out–you must mean the house down the street; no Kit, here!–but, that didn’t work.)

And not just dystonia, but that special brand of dystonia with parkinsonism thrown in there that makes me unable to walk, that makes everything on my left side either fail and freeze, or flail and dance. (Why does Lyme like the left side so much? No one can figure it out, not even the doctors.) It began on the 14th, when I got out of bed, took two steps, and my left leg decided it wanted nothing to do with this “walking” business. Luckily, there are wheelchairs. I still had a lot of movement problems even wheeling about the house, but standing up makes it so much worse in general, even if I’m not trying to walk. It got worse on the 15th and 16th…

I wish I could adequately describe what this type of movement disorder is like. A dear friend of mine in Pennsylvania with Lyme disease has the exact same problems I do (also hypertonia, also brain lesions). A typical “episode” of this happening might start with me attempting to walk. A varying amount of time passes before I slow dramatically and then my left leg will start to drag. If I stand in one place it often curls inward. If I try to walk it is essentially frozen, or moves so little that I might end up walking on the tips of my toes to compensate. Something around my hip/thigh happens and my leg jerks upward, causing me to simultaneously fall forward, often twisting my neck to one side at the same time “for some reason.” I don’t always have to be walking for this to occur. I know low oxygen (or at least low oxygen ratio) makes this worse, because supplemental oxygen always helped in the past.

“A major principle of body movement is that all muscles have an opposing muscle. Movement is possible not just because one muscle becomes more active, but because the opposing muscle relaxes. …Rigidity comes about when, in response to signals from the brain, the delicate balance of opposing muscles is disturbed. The muscles remain constantly tensed and contracted so that the person aches or feels stiff or weak.”

Other times it involves my face and neck–like an episode of Bell’s Palsy that isn’t so much the nerves (I don’t think, at least) as it is the muscles contracting, and causing issues like facial grimacing, an inability to open my left eye all the way (lots of times I cannot look upwards, which is truly disturbing–I don’t think this is dystonia but I wanted to mention it anyway), and my tongue might tremor, etc.

This time, much to my dismay, my arms were involved, interferring with my typing. :( It wasn’t the M.E., and it wasn’t the neuropathy that’s started to invade my arms causing the weakness, but something different. (It’s probably impossible for me to put the difference into words, but I know what that feels like.) They were doing the same thing my legs did–gradually getting slower and slower and it was as if the nerves were failing to send adequate signals, where in my head I was sending them the action I wanted them to perform but everything was going very..very…..slow……… :| (But not the paralysis and takes-five-days-to-recover like the M.E. muscle failure; this is far more neurological.)

And then the 17th happened. Or rather, the night of the 16th, when I tried to sleep. I spent all night waking up every hour going “omg I’m going to vomit” and “omg why is everything moving” and then when I woke up once at 7am, the back of my head was killing me (figure of speech, of course). And thus began the cycle of the next five days. But at least after about the 18th, the dystonia and parkinsonism got better and I could walk again. Oh, the things I had happen every morning… One morning was like I described above; for another, it was all I could do just to roll onto my back and take medicine; for another there was gastrointestinal nerve problems that immobilized me in pain; then to add insult to injury, I woke up dehydrated, because I usually do during Lyme flares. It has been an incredibly difficult couple of weeks!

What got me through it was knowing that it would pass.

And it did.

The 22nd I felt good enough to take a ride to the city, with the help of adequate medication for pain and inflammation. Right now I’m waiting for a supplement to arrive (tomorrow), so I can resume antibiotics.

I can’t thank God enough for such an absolutely amazing doctor to get me through all of this. Especially after so many years of people who didn’t know what they were doing, no idea how to help me, or just passing me around from doctor to doctor. (From primary to cardiologoist to neurologist to immunologist to infectious disease specialist to another cardiologist to another neurologist to a movement disorder specialist to…) I feel safe in God’s hands and my LLMD’s experience to get me better. He called and told me this herb collection to order for my liver, called Liver Chi. He says he has patients with Lyme-induced MS who are on triple IV antibiotics, their liver enzymes inevitably going high, but who can’t stop treatment for fear of their disease progressing. He thinks I am in that group with the rate that my symptoms progress the moment I stop antibiotics. And if this supplement (a mix of chinese herbs) has been able to bring theirs back down to normal, on all of those antibiotics, I’m sure it can help me get back in treatment! So he said to take a two-week break (which I have), and.. essentially, don’t wait, get the herbs, and resume treatment whenever I got them. And of course keep checking my enzymes.


I’ve been indulging my creativity to help me cope, so here are a few pieces:

a rainbow at night


PostScript: Things I want to add into this post but have no idea how:
  • Ibuprofen always helps. Always.
  • My PCP says I should tell my cardiologist about the fact that I feel like I’m going to pass out when I take a deep breath–I actually had to lie on the examining table this time, which is new. My first guess is my usual lack of my heart rate variability and the fact that it’s supposed to vary when you inhale deeply, but mine often doesn’t… But that’s autonomic neuropathy for you.

So, is everyone surviving the holidays?

I’m making it a goal to NOT be hospitalized or require any emergency services this December, as the past two years haven’t been very kind to me. First a ridiculous bartonella flare, then almost going into probiotic-induced septic shock… Always within the week closest to my family celebrating Christmas! Well! I’d like to be able to fully enjoy my holiday season, and not have to spend it recovering from an exacerbation! I think I could probably handle a minor infection now, if it passed my way, but it still wouldn’t be without consequence and it’s something I want to avoid if at all possible. Family members have colds and sinus infections, but I have face masks! I joke about drawing hearts on them to make them more stylish. (ETA: Or I could just buy some of these.)

So that Lyme flare got pretty bad. My muscles twitched constantly, and I soon started getting the internal tremor–the sensation that your entire body is vibrating, and that’s a Lyme symptom I haven’t had in a long while. I experienced severe muscle weakness in my legs for several days in a row and was wheelchair bound most of the time, even though using it was almost impossible. (I may or may not have mentioned, but I use a transport wheelchair instead of a normal self-propelled wheelchair. It doesn’t have wheels on the sides, so I self-propel with my legs, which are stronger than my arms because I don’t use them as much… That probably makes little sense, but when you have M.E., the muscles you don’t use very often are actually the strongest ones, and the ones you use the most become the weakest.) I remember starting to become concerned about it, but as the flare lifted, so did all the neurological quirks. A few days ago I went to the store without any assistance from mobility scooter or even a cane–a stark contrast to the previous week! My cognitive abilities have been poorer than usual, but these things go in cycles (every three weeks, remember?) so I may just be in a poor-brain stage. Since the flare though, I’ve had an increasing amount of headaches… I’m not sure if this is a three-weeks-of-headaches thing happening, or if it’s because of me not treating the Lyme, or what, but if it doesn’t lift after I begin specific Lyme treatment, I shall need to see a neurologist. Or perhaps I’ll just ask my LLMD next week when I speak to him, and see if he thinks I should go now…

It’ll be hard to decipher what is what, since I KNOW my headaches are going to explode once I start Tindamax next month. I told my primary doctor today about everything, and she’s excited about me starting it because of the recent in-vitro research that showed Tindamax kills up to 90% of both round (cyst) and normal (spirochete) forms of the Lyme bacteria. She also armed me with a new bottle of Lortab, so I’ll be ready for the insufferable headaches.

I have to write about a small bit of worry I have, though… On the 5th of December I got a severe headache, and that day I awoke with a bump on my finger. This is usually something I’ve associated with my bartonella flares, in the past… Then on the 10th, I got another bad headache, but I’m not sure if there’s any determinable pattern because that’s also the day I started M.E.-flaring from the trip to the store two days prior. :\ Could these finger bumps be Lyme, instead? And I HAVE been a tad more irritable, but again, nothing that screams bartonella at me… I’m just very wary of anything forming a pattern that would suggest it may not be disappearing after all. I sincerely hope it’s just other factors. I’ll know as time passes whether or not things are being reliable enough to consider a threat.

Well, that’s all for my update right now, though I’m sure there’s more to be said. Take care, my dears.

Keep going. No matter what you do, no matter how many times you screw up and think to yourself ‘there’s no point to carry on,’ no matter how many people tell you that you can’t do it–keep going. Don’t quit. Don’t quit, because a month from now you’ll be that much closer to your goal than you are now. Yesterday you said tomorrow. Make today count.”

a rainbow at night

Christmas, symptoms, and recovery

So much is expected of Christmas posts when you have a publicized “problem.” Everyone is curious about how you coped, or how things were altered because of it. As an advocate for the very misunderstood illnesses I live with, perhaps some might expect me to explain all that I wasn’t able to do–to drive home the message of just how bad these illnesses are–like many others write about. Maybe it could raise awareness to the fact that very little is being done to stop it from happening to your children, or your best friend, or even you? Like a TV commercial for the ASPCA about all the animals that are freezing to death while yours are inside, warm, I see a lot of these types of things related to M.E. and Lyme disease around this time of year. Such as “humorous” Christmas song rewrites, changing the words to suit the various symptoms of the disease. (While everyone else if off doing those things, I’m doing this…)

I can’t think badly of anyone using this time of year for these purposes. I know why people make those posts, and I know the reason why some find a strange sort of comfort in them… But I don’t.

Perhaps I owe it to realizing how bad things could be given my situation, and thus appreciating how they aren’t. Perhaps I owe it to being reminded daily of how special the little things are, or that I consciously think about the beautiful little things even when things are going better than usual. Or maybe I’m just naive and give the able-bodied too much credit for understanding that these diseases do alter every single aspect of how we celebrate any special event, without me having to bring attention to that fact over and over again… Do people realize? Maybe I give others too much credit for knowing that.

Sorry if I’m not fulfilling my “sick person” duty, but my Christmas was wonderful. I feel like I was given a sort of early Christmas gift, even. First off, I was home and not in the hospital (and, um, alive), and I’m making slow but steady improvement. But also, my candidiasis problem is gone… Like, completely. So I could eat whatever I wanted, enjoy the holiday cookies, et cetera. No more food restrictions. No more feeling like the next thing I eat could upset whatever delicate balance my body was striving–and consistently failing–to attain.

Now, granted, I’ll still be eating like a diabetic because it’s just healthier no matter how you look at it, but it’s nice knowing I can eat a normal cookie every now and then and it won’t cause long-lasting harm. ♥ Now I simply continue maintainence therapy, consisting of alternating Nystatin and Candex every week, to keep things staying normal. Next month I should be able to resume antibiotics, after the candida culture results come back.

I’ve also made friends with my wheelchair, now. It was difficult for my family and I to witness “the first wheelchair trip,” but after the whole hospital thing, instead of it being a symbol of how bad things had gotten, it was a great thing to be wheeling me out of my room! An “Oh look, she’s good enough for a wheelchair ride to the kitchen!” sort of thing. So now we’ve pretty much become accustomed to it, taking me to the living room for tea or whatnot. My niece thinks it’s hilarious the way I move my feet “like a mouse” when scooting myself across the kitchen…

I’m still battling my stubbornness, though. Sometimes I get stuck in the kitchen or the living room because I misjudged my ability levels, which somehow makes me feel like I’ve failed, because they’re just.. what, twelve meters away? I don’t want to think I need help walking forty feet, and it’s so much easier to walk there than to maneuver the wheelchair about, or ask someone to take me there… Especially when I could have done it half-an-hour ago, but suddenly I can’t? How does one keep up with this perpetual flux? But I’ll learn. I’m bound to get stuck many more times, but I’ll learn. And hopefully I’ll do it before I harm myself, because nothing would make me feel more dumb than being sick actually because of something I did (or didn’t do).

As of yesterday I feel I’ve recovered enough from the hospital ordeal, so I started my daily herb and supplement regimen. Which would be:

  • Olive leaf extract, 500 mg twice a day
  • Vitamin C, 1 gram twice a day
  • Aloe vera gel, twice a day
  • Ubiquinol (active form of Co Q-10), 100 mg daily
  • L-carnitine fumurate, 1,000 mg daily
  • Vitamin D3 (I’m not deficient yet, but I get no sunlight), daily
  • Calcium, magnesium, and zinc combination supplement, daily

I started the ubiquinol (instead of ubiquinone, for now) and L-carnitine on Christmas because of all the activity. Needless to say, it’s been very helpful, though of course it doesn’t mean the crash still won’t happen. Anything else I take depends upon the day, such as the Candex, Nystatin, or grapefruit seed extract. I’m going to add the houttuynia back later, but I wanted to trial run everything else before I start attacking the bartonella again. Speaking of: My bart symptoms are still–perhaps even increasingly so–very mild… I’m wondering if I should be happy they’re lessening, or scared that they may jump out at me again when I treat the Lyme disease. It’s anyone’s guess, but my family and friends do appreciate me not yelling at them quite so much in bartonella-induced rages! Anyway…

As for how I’ve been feeling since my last update (besides the obviously expected things): For several days after “the hospital incident,” I was extremely dizzy, to a ridiculous level. It’s an unnerving dizziness that feels like it’s coming from inside your head? It’s difficult to describe. I was also horribly fatigued, but both of those things have left after ibuprofen and a lot of sleep + rest. I wore earplugs almost constantly up until yesterday. (Which made it a little easier to listen to music, actually… Yes, with the earplugs still in.) I’m not sure if my extreme sensitivity to light and sound was due to the M.E. or other infections; an overactive nervous system was one of the things that became more frequent before I started treatment.

On December 23rd I was a little Lyme-y, my upper spine was hurting and my arms would randomly go numb and weak… Mild fever… Also VERY thirsty… But that was basically it! Later that night we actually took a short car ride out to see the Christmas lights!

Christmas night I started having arrhythmia and accompanying dizzy spells… Which was startling because, it was the same type of dizzy spell that has been happening off and on the past few weeks. Now I’m wondering if this “dizzy feeling inside my head” could actually be coming from my heart? I have no idea, but whatever the cause, palpitations + dizzy spells last night basically meant, I’d had too much exertion, and needed to stop what I was doing, and rest. Immediately. So, I did.

It should go without saying that now, after the (albeit mild) Christmas activity, I’m having increased muscule fatigability and weakness due to the crash. My legs are not wanting to work with me, my arms give out very rapidly, and.. today I had the first non-bath since before I initiatially starting taking antibiotics, when I was too ill to properly bathe and had to rely on.. I guess you call them sponge baths? When I was in the ER they sent us home with some microwavable bath cloths, so it wasn’t entirely unpleasant, actually! The shock factor has worn off, since it’s not the first time that “it’s come to this.” I can sit up, so my mother washed my hair in the kitchen sink, with the faucet sprayer! Our inside dogs looked onward, very concerned as to why their owner was suddenly taking over their bathtub.

But yes, I can be upright, so I’m happy to say at least my POTS-related symptoms are improved. I’m just waiting on my muscles to recover, and be able to tolerate more sensory input. Tomorrow we are planning an outing, and given the state of my crash I’m not entirely convinced it’s a smart idea, but we’ll see how I feel tomorrow. I may not be able to use my arms for much, and my legs are not happy, but I can be upright, and I can wear earplugs as I always do when I’m “out.” I think I could do it… Oh, and since being back on my herbs, the dystonia symptoms are returning in the evenings. I didn’t expect it to happen so soon!

And finally, all of the tests I had run from my endocrinologist, were normal. All.. what, eleven of them?.. including the ACTH stimulation test, so I do not have adrenal insufficiency. I’m.. glad, in a way, because like I said, had I that disorder I would not have been able to treat it without risking an imminent decline. But I’m also not glad, because it just means that, yet again, there’s nothing else was wrong, and nothing else was contributing to my body’s dysfunction except what I already have… Which is scary. The doctor has mailed me copies of all the results and I’m waiting for them.

a rainbow at night

Transport chairs, vitamin C, and herbs

Let’s see. Significant health-related things that have happened the past few days…

My primary physician said I could have whatever mobility aid I needed, to just go to the medical supply store and pick something out. Wow! The only problem was, what would benefit me the most–a transport wheelchair–is NOT covered by my insurance because they’re not a self-propelled item. Which doesn’t make much sense to me, really. If I’m too sick to push it myself, you’d think that be a major part of why they WOULD cover it?

There was some minor debate between my family and I about why I didn’t want an electric wheelchair, which, for clarification, is usually what you see children with muscular dystrophy cruising around in, since their disease also means they cannot use their muscles to propel a manual wheelchair. First off, I didn’t want it because it’s too large, too heavy, wouldn’t fit in my car, and would take up a lot of space in my room. But most importantly, it costs $2,000 (making my part about $400), and would signify the need for something more.. permanent, than a transport wheelchair.

I realize that this is a major step, one that could potentially signify my inability to return to a pre-wheelchair bound state if my medical team cannot find a way to stabilize me. But I don’t think that justifies having my insurance pay for an electric wheelchair or scooter, when there’s still a chance I may not need it for more then the next several months. I’m not hopeless yet, you know? There’s still a chance that we can get this under control, that I can resume antibiotic therapy, and as a result won’t be quite so sick. If I progress further and need an electric wheelchair or scooter, then fine, but let me give this a try, first!

In the store, they had the one I was going to buy online set out, so I got to try it out for size and usefulness. It turns on a dime–wonderful for the small size of my house–and I can propel it about with my legs as long as I don’t go too far. (Trust me, the irony of this is not lost on me.)

So I came home and purchased it.


Remember that random bump on my lip? The one for which I took around 1200% Vitamin C? The candidiasis has improved since I decided to continue it. I can brush my tongue normally in the morning, without needing the Nystatin. My digestion is more normal, also without taking Nystatin. And things are becoming more normal in the lower regions, as well. I don’t think it’s any coincidence, and high dose Vitamin C is a good regimen for just about everything I have going on… That random bump that caused me to take so much of it, could have been a blessing in disguise. I’m about about 1.5 grams daiy right now, and I do plan to continue it and see what happens.

Normally I’d be really happy about this, and in general I am, but… Again, it helped, so when my doctor had to get a culture sample from me, to confirm the presence of the candida yeasts… Well, now I’m concerned that because things were better, it might not show up! Ha! How’s that for irony. Either way, I can’t resume antibiotics until the results are back, roughly about 6 weeks from now. :( But because I won’t be doing any more tests or things, what I CAN resume, are my herbals! So with much, much glee, I have added back my olive leaf extract, oregano oil (only for five days), and houttuynia! The latter is for the treatment of bartonellosis, so I’m a little nervous about that herxing. I don’t think any of these treat Lyme, but after five days with the oregano oil I can switch to grapefruit seed extract. Lyme replicates roughly every four weeks (seemingly two weeks for me lately?), but bartonella replicates every five days, so it’s actually the bartonella that has me worsening so quickly. (I don’t know if replicate is the right word to use, but that’s when it floods your bloodstream and travels about.) That’s not including any possible babesiosis, which I pray I don’t have, but it has a replication of 4-6 days as well. These coinfections are the real trouble, if you ask me.


Hmm… Another migraine on Friday, just for the record. I’ve also started to get more frequent headaches, mostly in the front of my skull. I went a few weeks without needing pain meds every other day, so I wonder what randomly made them start happening again? But as far as other typical-bart symptoms are concerned, my shins have been hurting for two weeks, and I now experience foot pain every other day. And yesterday when I woke up, my temperature was ALREADY 99 degrees; it later went back down in the doctor’s office, to 98.5 degrees. Today my temperature was a brief 99.5 but I’m not sure of its significance, because I didn’t get my rising temp and this is right before my menses, so that’s typical. The dystonia has NOT been severe in a while, but with the addition of my herbs I expect it to flare up a bit: We shall see.

As for me mentally: I. have. no. sense. of. time. But it’s not like my usual timelessness, where things seem unusually fast, or I blank out, or like before, where I forget entire days. Lately it’s been–and I’ve been doing this over and over and over for the past week–that things seem to take a disproportionately long amount of time. Watching my mother cook potatoes seemed like forty minutes, when it was only ten. The one-hour drive to one of my doctors felt like it was longer than the five hour drive to my LLMD. And a bunch of other things where my family has had to tell me, “No, you’re just doing ‘that thing’ again.” Everything feels like it takes forever, and I’m not sure why this is. That’s all I can really say about it. (In hindsight, this was probably related to the migraine pre/postdrome).


The worst moment of this three-day venture from Wednesday to Friday (so many doctors!), happened on Thursday evening. The 24-hour delayed symptom flare from Wednesday evening was beginning, made all the worse by Thursday’s twelve-vial bloodloss. I wandered to my mother’s room and collapsed in her bed, as I am wont to do when I don’t want to be alone because of feeling particularly awful. I haven’t had an episode of my breathing muscles being affected by the weakness in a long time, but it happened that night. Specifics aside, this ultimately resulted in cyanosis of my extremities (please note that I do not have Raynaud’s syndrome). Being mostly unable to move, enduring shallow breathing and inadequate blood flow, she massaged my hands and feet until I returned to a natural, oxygenated pink. Why I said “no” to her fetching my oxygen machine is beyond me, because I really could have used it: The fact that M.E. sometimes affects the muscles in my chest is one of the reasons I have it! Nonetheless, I continued to make a slow recovery with rest and help. What struck me was when she brought up my sister, whom I talked about last post. She mentioned being glad that my dad wasn’t around to see her rubbing my hands and feet, because that’s what he had to do for her every night “close to the end” due to her inadequate blood flow. I laughed nervously to hide my discomfort.

a rainbow at night